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If you're a couple, you need to know how each of you spends money and how you plan to pay your expenses. Here's help getting started.

Most married couples will plan their wedding with greater care than they plan their first year of financial interdependence. Perhaps that's why surveys peg money problems as the No. 1 cause of divorce.

Fortunately, with only a moderate effort, newlyweds can find financial bliss, or at least compatibility.

Newly married people face a whole new challenge: Not only must each spouse manage his or her own expenses, but anticipate and plan for the expenses of the partner. The first step is to understand where each of you are, financially speaking. This isn’t always a fun discussion, but it’s better to know the harsh truths before you get married rather than later.

For instance, does your future spouse have a bad credit record? Have either of you filed for bankruptcy in the past? How much credit-card debt will either of you be bringing into the marriage?

Here are some ways to start:

Track your expenses for a month
You need to know how each of you spends and saves money. Consider creating a budget by meticulously keeping track of your expenses for a couple of weeks or a month. You’ll then know where your money is spent and where you may need to cut back.

A budget may cause the two of you to realize that you have different goals and spending habits. One of you may be a spender; the other a saver. Compromise, be patient and create a wish list, all of which you will get to, in time. No matter how wealthy you become in the future, you will need to prioritize wants all your life, so you might as well get started now.

Estimate your expenses for the next 12 months
Rent and utilities are relatively static and easily estimated, but food, work-related expenses and discretionary spending require more investigation. After making your expense list, create a "cash-flow calendar." This is a year's calendar noting when sums of more than $500 will be spent (i.e., an insurance bill) and will be received (i.e., an expected bonus.)

This is also the time to factor in luxuries and discretionary big-ticket items, such as vacations and furniture. Set the amount you intend to spend. Be realistic and specific.

Create an emergency fund
An emergency cash reserve can prevent a lot of disagreements. It can help with those unexpected occurrences, like job loss, a new roof or a disabled car. A safe amount would be enough to cover your expenses for three to six months.

Start a weekly financial meeting
Set aside a time and place to meet for half an hour each week to take care of your financial business. Keep it up and you will find that you rarely ever bounce a check or spend your leisure time together talking about money.

Turn this into a boardroom-type meeting, in which you establish an agenda for issues like bills, investment options and new purchase issues. Then follow the procedure each week. When you're finished, don’t let the meeting become a forum for other non-financial issues. This is not a forum for disagreement or blame. The point is to get things done or set a schedule for doing them.

Decide whether to have joint or separate accounts -- or both
The key goals of handling checking accounts, cash and credit cards are efficiency, accuracy and good record-keeping.

Keep emotions out of it as best you can. Separate accounts are supposedly symbolic of autonomy, and joint accounts supposedly foster feelings of unity. Many financial advisers now recommend that couples create joint accounts for pooled savings and investments and to cover all household expenses. They then suggest that each partner might want to create separate checking accounts for discretionary spending. This is particularly true for couples who have been independent for many years. Separate accounts of small sums allow you to remain “financially independent” without causing disruptions in your household plans.

To be efficient and accurate, your No. 1 tool is the computer and a personal finance program, such as Quicken or Microsoft’s Money. Money, for example, tells you each morning if a bill is due, by flashing it on the screen. It allows you to experiment with different credit-card payment programs to see how long it takes to be debt-free, and how much total interest you pay under different payment plans.

Liability is greater if you have joint accounts.
In deciding how to hold assets, remember that four out of five Americans will be sued in their lifetimes. It's best to keep investments like real estate and bank accounts in separate names if one party is particularly vulnerable to lawsuits (such as if one of you is a doctor, lawyer or business owner). Any assets in that person’s name can be seized in a successful lawsuit.

Some money cannot be jointly held.
If you have inherited money or received it as a gift, or are morally obligated to manage it for another, say so. Right from the beginning, feelings about autonomy over money should be expressed. If necessary, a nuptial agreement can make things clearer and legally binding. But most of the time, your mate will respect your view, especially if he or she made no contribution to the asset.

If one of you has a knack for check-balancing, or works more closely with finances, or is a stay-at-home partner, it may be better if that spouse takes on the household finances. As long as both of you are well-informed and communicate about bank balances, insurance and investment results, it's OK if one takes charge and the other follows. The problems exist when one insists on being the headmaster or the other abdicates any financial responsibility at all.

In the end, as much as any business, marriage is a partnership. There are silent partners and managing partners. Both have their functions and place.

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